


To The Last Goodbyes

by ohohstarryeyed



Category: Bandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 17:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohohstarryeyed/pseuds/ohohstarryeyed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Secret Married Fest. Prompt: They managed to keep their entire marriage a secret. The divorce, however, not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To The Last Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to reni_days for looking it over and catchmelike for the beta.

\--  
Brendon pulls back the covers and motions to the bed, “Alright munchkin. Bedtime.”

Amelia looks back at him doubtfully and says, “You’re going to tell me a story right, Daddy? That was the deal.”

“One bedtime story for one early bedtime, I remember,” Brendon says. “Now come on, in bed.”

“Okay, but I want to hear about the princes.” Amelia says, climbing into bed and tugging the covers up over her. “And no skipping.”

“You’re awfully bossy for a six year old. I bet your dad was just like this when he was your age.” Brendon says, dropping down onto the bed next to her.

“I’m not bossy, I’m precocious.” Amelia grins.

“You’re a brat,” Brendon says as he shifts to get comfortable. Single beds are just not made for a grown ass man and a six year old who likes to sprawl. “Okay, story time.”

Amelia nods and rests back on the pillows. “The princes.”

“Right. Once Upon a Time there were three princes who loved each other very much...” Brendon begins to tell the story about fairytale princes but let’s his mind wander to the real story. To a time when three regular guys loved each other very much. Until they didn’t.

\--  
When Ryan leaves there's a certain...flare missing and that's how Spencer and Brendon know it's for real.

Ryan's left after arguments before. He’s left after the proper fights - the drag-out, silence-for-days, stay-the-fuck-away-from-me kind but those are usually _loud_ with slamming doors and pointed statements and insults being hurled at turned backs. Ryan's fighting isn't like Spencer and Brendon's fighting. Spencer's M.O is to just stomp around, slamming things until he's calmed down enough to talk it out. Brendon's is to get quiet and blame himself, and eventually he comes out of hiding guns blazing with half-assed arguments until he deflates and gets over it. Ryan though -- Ryan fights dirty. He leaves scars and then leaves the scene of the crime. Usually he comes back after a couple of days like nothing ever happened. This time it’s different, though.

It's a dumb fight about the fucking music. Lately that’s all they ever seem to fight about. They used to fight about wet towels left on the bathroom floor or who drank the last of the milk, things that could be kissed and laughed away. These days the fights are constant and vicious and laughter is non existent in those moments. They’re not even recording. The three of them are just dicking around while Jon is still in Chicago. Brendon mentions something about changing the beat up and, Ryan just _explodes._ Spencer interrupts him mid rant and says “It was just a suggestion, Ryan. Jesus.” Ryan flips out again, accusing Spencer of always taking Brendon's side.

Brendon frowns and says, “That’s not true, what the fuck?” Ryan completely loses his shit. He screams insults at them. They have never seen him _scream_ before. He's completely out of control, and it's all they can do to stand there and not run for cover. They take it though because they both know Ryan; they know that leaving the room will be seen as them leaving _him._ Brendon and Spencer both might be dicks on occasion but they're not going to use Ryan's major sensitive spot against him -- no matter how much of an asshole he's being.

Eventually Ryan runs out of steam, and the three of them have fallen into some sort of face off. The room is clearly divided Ryan versus SpencerandBrendon. Spencer desperately wants to move to Ryan’s side, but there’s three of them. No matter what move any of them make, someone is going to feel alienated. Spencer shifts his footing. Hetries to make it look like they’re three point of a triangle. He tries to make it look like no one is taking sides but the movement draws Ryan’s attention. Ryan must see the deliberateness behind the movement because he takes off his guitar off, sets it down carefully, and walks out of the room silently -- a change from the last fight they had where he threw it across the room _at Spencer._ Ryan’s footsteps are practically muted on the stairs but the closing of the front door, the click when the lock slides into place echoes throughout the house.

Brendon, Ryan, and Spencer have been married for one year, eight weeks and three days, and Ryan has just left them.

\--  
The media, as it turns out, love a divorce almost as much as they love a wedding. The headlines scream ‘Secret Marriage! at the Chapel.’ followed by a grainy print of their wedding certificate, “Splitsville! at the Divorce Lawyer’ followed by a fucking spread featuring the divorce papers Ryan had filed three days after he walked out.

Brendon and Spencer lock themselves in their house, screen their calls (parents and Pete get through, everyone else can fuck off), and try to pretend like they’re not totally fucking devastated. It turns out that when you are in fact totally fucking devastated it’s really hard.

\--  
Brendon, Ryan and Spencer had always been each other’s constant. Spencer and Ryan had been friends since forever, but it was Brendon walking into the practice space with his dumb hair and even dumber face that brought them together. It had been good, really good. Hard too but the good always outweighed the bad.

It was Ryan’s idea to get married. They’d been crammed into a double bed, legs and fingers intertwined when Ryan had said, “We should get married.” Brendon and Spencer couldn’t come up with a reason not to, not when there were a zillion reasons weaved throughout their history that made it a good idea.

So they snuck off and got married, and they didn’t tell anyone because when you’re in a band that people know and pay money to see, news like the secret marriage of three guys is going to make headlines. It’s weird sometimes, not being able to tell people, but with their lifestyle they they want to hold on to what little bits of privacy they can. Sadly, it’s not a lot, so they make sacrifices for their marriage -- for their secret. Brendon’s permanently single, so the rumors are constantly flying about him. Is he gay? Is he secretly in love with his band? Does he have a love child that he’s hiding in Brazil? Yes, Yes, No are the answers, but ignoring the questions is the only answer he’ll ever give. Spencer has it easier. Everyone just assumes that he and Haley (a lovely girl but they’re only friends, seriously.) are engaged or with child or on again/off again. And as for Ryan, well. Everyone just assumes that he’s got a harem of girls on the go at anytime. The rumors took their toll, but they made it easy to keep the truth under wraps.

They eventually told their parents, though. Well. They told Spencer’s parents who were cautiously happy for them. Brendon’s parents found out when the headlines about the divorce hit, and that had been an awkward and stressful conversation. Spencer held his hand the whole time and at several points took the phone from Brendon when Brendon looked like he needed a break.

Pete had been disappointed but present, coming up with plans to deal with the media and then organised for Brendon and Spencer to stay at a friend of a friends compound. The both vetoed that. They wanted to stay in their home and neither of them said it but they both knew it was because a secret part of them hoped Ryan would come back. Pete understood and organised for someone to be outside the door at all times in case the media decided to overstep the mark. He hugged them both before he left, told them to call if they needed anything at all, and then he was gone. The house felt bigger when he left. Too much space and not enough noise.

“I’m just going to,” Spencer had said, motioning towards the stairs. Brendon had nodded and sat down on the couch and listened to Spencer’s heavy footsteps on stairs until the house was filled with silence.

\--  
“He’s not coming back is he?” Spencer asks, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. It’s been eight days since Ryan left. Five since he filed for divorce. Four since the media caught onto the news. Brendon’s been keeping count. He looks up from his untouched coffee and pauses.

“He might.” he says, tired. His eyes hurt. It’s too dark in the kitchen -- in the entire house. The shades are drawn to keep the media that’s fucking camped out on their lawn away. He feels like he’s Paris Hilton. He suspects a sex tape fallout would hurt a lot less than the breakdown of his marriage.

Spencer smiles sadly. “He’s not.”

“He.” Brendon starts, then sighs. He knows Ryan’s not coming back. They don’t know where Ryan _is_ to find out. To apologise. Even if Brendon doesn’t know what he’s apologising for he’s willing to do it anyway, just to get Ryan back. “No. He’s not. I’m sorry, Spence.”

“Not your fault.” Spencer says. He crosses the room and drops down into the chair next to Brendon, resting his hand on the back of Brendon’s neck. “What does this--are we--” Spencer trails off. Brendon can’t believe Spencer even has to ask. It makes sense that he does, but he still can’t believe they’re in this fucked up situation where Spencer doesn’t know what he means to Brendon anymore.

“Hey. Hey, we’re us. We’re still-- we’re _us,_ Spence,” Brendon says fiercely. He crawls into Spencer’s lap and hugs him tight. “I love you, idiot. Just because Ryan -- just because he doesn’t want this, doesn’t mean I don’t.”

“I hate him,” Spencer says. His voice is choked off like he’s trying not to cry. “I fucking--I hate him.”

Brendon tugs Spencer’s face so it’s pressed into his chest and holds him there. He can feel Spencer’s tears starting to soak through his shirt. “You don’t,” he says, trying not to to cry himself. “You don’t, that’s why this hurts so fucking much.”

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Spencer says with a shakey voice. He tries to pull away from Brendon, but Brendon isn’t having it. He just holds him in place and eventually Spencer relaxes against him. “I’m your husband. If you can’t cry and get snot all over me, who can you do it too?”

“Your mom?” Spencer says. He sounds watery, but he’s making jokes so all isn’t lost as far as Brendon’s concerned.

“Yeah well. I got something all over your mom and it wasn’t snot, if you know what I mean and I think you do.” Brendon says, smiling for what feels like the first time in forever.

Spencer punches him and then follows up with a kiss that’s a desperate as it is loving. “I love you, you dick,” he says. He pauses, “What about the band?”

Brendon shrugs and tugs Spencer’s hair lightly. “Duos are all the rage you know.”

“Duos?” Spencer says. “What about Jon?”

“Jon, um. He called yesterday. He’s not going--he wants to get married, you know? He’s got his thing in Chicago so,” Brendon says. “Can’t say I blame him, really.” Brendon knows that walking into this trainwreck would be the last thing any sane person would want to do. It hurts that Jon’s leaving too, but he’s not going to begrudge him his happiness.

“No, that’s. It’s fair.” Spencer rests his chin on Brendon’s shoulder. His breath tickles Brendon’s face when he talks. “So it’s just you and me, huh?”

“Yep. Think you can handle that?” Brendon says, the softness of his voice belying his cockiness.

Spencer’s chin presses into Brendon’s shoulder when he nods. “Yeah,” he says.“I can handle it.”

Brendon turns and reaches for the neat stack of papers, red sticky markers protruding from the edges. “Got a pen?” he asks.

“Top drawer left,” Spencer says. He’s already reaching for the papers as Brendon abandons them to hunt down a pen.

“Our lawyers looked over these right?” Spencer asks, frowning down at the divorce papers.

“Yeah. And your dad,” Brendon says. He sits back down next to Spencer, handing him a pen. “Ready to do this?”

“As I’ll ever be,” Spencer says. “You?”

Brendon shrugs. It’s the third time in his life where his signature has meant something life changing. The first was their record contract, the second the marriage certificate, and now. Divorce papers. With one swish of a shitty pen he found in the back of a kitchen drawer he’s going to be divorced. “You didn’t sneak your name onto this thing did you?” Brendon asks, aiming for light and falling short of the mark.

“Shut up, idiot,” Spencer says, softly, winding his arm around Brendon and pulling him close. “Together?”

Brendon nods. He thinks about the interviews they’re going to have to give. The record they’re going to have to make without Ryan. The life they’re going to live with one piece missing. He glances at Spencer and thinks, ‘I can do this as long as we’re together’ and picks up the other pen. “Together.”

They sign the papers.

\--  
“...and they all lived happily ever after.” Brendon says, softly. Amelia is snoring next to him, and he extracts himself from the bed, pulling the covers up over her. The night light casts stars and moons across the bedroom walls when he turns it on and then he heads down the hall to his own bedroom.

“Hey,” Spencer says, looking up from his laptop. “Did she go down okay?”

“Mmhm, before I even got through the story.” Brendon says, shrugging out of his clothes and closing the bedroom door.

“The princes again?” Spencer asks, tracking his movements with keen eyes.

Brendon crawls onto the bed and moves Spencer’s laptop onto the floor and straddles his lap, “Yep.”

“You know, telling our kid a bedtime story based on our divorce is kinda creepy.” Spencer says, tilting his head when Brendon starts nuzzling at his throat.

“Whatever.” Brendon says, nipping at Spencer’s jaw.

“Mmm” Spencer makes a humming sound and drags his hands up and down Brendon’s back, following the curve of his ass and back up again. “Speaking of. Ryan called earlier. He and Z want to take Amelia to look at flower girl dresses on Thursday afternoon.”

“Oh yeah? she’ll like that.” Brendon nips at Spencer’s jaw again. He tilts Spencer’s chin up and looks for a sign that Spencer is not okay with Ryan getting remarried. When he finds nothing he leans in and kisses him. “Happy Anniversary, Mister Smith.”

“Happy Anniversary to you to, Mister Smith.” Spencer says, grinning and flipping him over. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“Dork.” Brendon says, fondly.

“Love you.” Spencer says, just as fond.

“Love you too.” Brendon says. He leans up and kisses him and they do indeed get the show on the road.


End file.
